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Redneck Bucket List

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is pretty easy for Bubba

Redneck Bucket List thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list. - Unknown

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet. - Will Smith

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. - Jerry Gille

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


Abbreviated Beetle

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Log Out - Here It Comes!

Roo Paper

Pool Fashion

Look At It This Way

Starbucks Bethlehem

Redneck House Cleaning

Book Perspective

Grandma's Controller

Tire Rotation

Grand Prix Roller Blades

Son Shine

BachScratcher

Under Control

Straightjacket Fashion

Husband Parking

Why Stand In Line?

Weight Watchers Bus

Bread Pitt

Redneck Hayride

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike