#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Firemen

What equipment do firemen use to put out train fires?

Redneck Firemen thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Fire safety and train crossings don't go well together

QuotaBills
Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Winter Deflation

Baby Papaya Crossing

Cat Tofu

Dad Sandwich

The Untangler

Glendambo Welcome

Leaning Tower Of Pisa Dog

Slim People Bathroom

Soothing Hairstyle

Truck Driver Birth

Spider Trap

Nice Day For A Ride

Motion Picture Selfie

Winter Mirror

Is This Really Happening?!

House 'Broke'rage

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Restaurant Valentines

Cute Puppy

Unhappy Valentine's Day

My Favourite Day of the Year

Biker Love