#1 humor site on the 'net

Restored Beauty

Putting your best face forward

Restored Beauty thanks to Jim Serritella

Personal stories of people who fought cancer at Cancer Treatment Centers in North America

QuotaBills
The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. - Ambrose Bierce

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

That's your best friend and your worst enemy - your own brain. - Fred Durst

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. - Groucho Marx

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

We - we need strength, we need energy, we need quickness and we need brain in this country to turn it around. - Donald Trump

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Foot Wear

2fer Sudoku Puzzles G

Baby Shower

Cat Extension

Think Safety First

Grass Room

Salmon-chanted Evening

Good Luck Angel

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

CarGate

Frozen Fish Meal

Grizzly Bear Chair

Dutch Cowboy

Snow Zombie

Pilot Prop Job

Stand Up Comedian

Nosey Bird

Stealth Fighter

Messerschmitt

Beginner's Billiards

Octostump

Trail Closed

Wash Day On The Farm

Trudeau Flagpole