#1 humor site on the 'net

Restored Beauty

Putting your best face forward

Restored Beauty thanks to Jim Serritella

Personal stories of people who fought cancer at Cancer Treatment Centers in North America

QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - William Shakespeare

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power. - Barbara Jordan

That's your best friend and your worst enemy - your own brain. - Fred Durst

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. - Jules Renard

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - George Jessel

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Our brain is mapping the world. Often that map is distorted, but it's a map with constant immediate sensory input. - E.O. Wilson

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The brain is not a bag of traits. It's startlingly complex. There are few or no single genes with a consistent effect on the mind. - Steven Pinker

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


What Happened?

Wet Insect

Teahouse of the August Moon

Server Tray

Model T Ford Repair Costs in 1928

Lowdown Volvo

Drone Crossing

Prince Bag

Ghetto Hammock

Tea Remedy

Cooking For Guys

Sun Dial Fail

I Like Cooking

Wine Secret

Lean Beer

Tip Discount

Cake Message

Where Astronauts Hang Out

In Deep Water

Travel Mints

Kelpies

Late Lecture

Throne Games

Madeleine Albright