#1 humor site on the 'net

Science Fiction Recipes

Recipes that come to a sad conclusion

Science Fiction Recipes thanks to Steve Ingram

Diet plans that almost work

QuotaBills
A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers


Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider