#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Lampshades

Lighting the way in a home Down South

Texas Lampshades thanks to Keith Blake

This way, Bubba doesn't have to hunt for the light switch at home

Y’all come over and see a few good lightbulbs

QuotaBills
A light heart lives long. - William Shakespeare

Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. - George Carlin

I'd love to do a character with a wife, a nice little house, a couple of kids, a dog, maybe a bit of singing, and no guns and no killing, but nobody offers me those kind of parts. - Christopher Walken


Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Octostump

Poodle Power

Anyone Home?

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Men In Kilts