#1 humor site on the 'net

Tons Of Anarchy

Enjoying the irony of motorcycle club anarchy

Tons Of Anarchy thanks to Lucie LaTour

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Unknown

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. - Mahatma Gandhi

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate