#1 humor site on the 'net

Turnip Party

When to turnip at parties

Turnip Party thanks to Hans Holst, Dusseldorf, Germany

Are you the radish guy there?

Turnip Party thanks to Hans Holst, Dusseldorf, Germany

QuotaBills
Art is anything you can get away with. - Marshall McLuhan

It costs nothing to encourage an artist. - Kevin Smith

Maintenance is as much art as it is science. - Unknown

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. - Jonathan Swift

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Logic is neither science nor an art, but a dodge. - Benjamin Jowett

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

Ballet is good, because it makes you stand up tall. - Carine Roitfeld

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. - Groucho Marx

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. - Frank Zappa

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. - Unknown

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty. - Unknown

I'm due at the ballet. They're doin' Swoon Lake. - Archie Bunker

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself. - Mihkail Baryshnikov

The most potent and sacred command which can be laid upon any artist is the command: wait. - Iris Murdoch

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. - Oscar Wilde

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying. - Oscar Wilde

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

What's the earth with all its art, verse, music, worth -
Compared with love, found, gained, and kept? - Robert Browning

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

We all know that art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand. - Pablo Picasso

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James


Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey