#1 humor site on the 'net

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts

Worn out signs with alternate meanings

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts thanks to Keith Blake

When you're hurt and need Elf Storage

A light heart lives long. - William Shakespeare

Many hands make light work. - Unknown

Numb the dark and you numb the light. - Brene Brown

A proverb is much light condensed in one flash. - Simmons

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

What's done in the dark will be paraded in the light. - Charles Wynn

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? - Steven Wright

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. - Unknown

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

We have been too long in darkness. Once already we have been in the light, and we want it again. - Alexander Dubcek

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan

Bach Flip

Quit Your Wining

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles B

Wedding Pound Cake

Equal Rights Church

Winter Driving in Canada

Free Stuff

Cornfield Fishing

Hedge Hunter

Lizard Hairstyle

Bagpipe Runners

Shark Selfie

Hallway Detour

Crisp Chips

Is There Life After Death?

Green Beards


Irish Sky Garden Crater

Irish Drink

Emotion Stew

Irish Rugby Fans

Daily Trivia D

Work Hard Philosophy

Irish Sunblock