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Unfortunate Sign Burnouts

Worn out signs with alternate meanings

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts thanks to Keith Blake

When you're hurt and need Elf Storage

QuotaBills
He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Disability is a way of getting some extremity, some kind of very difficult situation, that throws an interesting light on people. - Mark Haddon

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Fantasy has a dark side to it. It also has a light hemisphere - the power of the human imagination to keep going, to imagine a better tomorrow. - Tim O'Brien

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine