#1 humor site on the 'net

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts

Worn out signs with alternate meanings

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts thanks to Keith Blake

When you're hurt and need Elf Storage

QuotaBills
Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Numb the dark and you numb the light. - Brene Brown

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? - Steven Wright

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. - L.J. Peter

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Truth is like heat or light; its vibrations are endless, and are endlessly felt. - Margaret Deland

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. - James Thurber

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


Thai Bikers: Whoever Falls First Loses

Kayak Tours for Lunch and Dinner Guests

Power-Full Logging Truck

Pre-Dinner Photography

Pond Management

Revenge of the Birds

Texas Rocking Chair

Culinary Breakthrough

Aussie Husband Wanted - Call Helen

Lecture Meal

Tornado House

This Is A Window

Cut Weight

Forever Round

All Mine

Bottle Support

Falls Trail Tree

Going Green

Ukrainian Model T

Fencing Down Under

Croc Diet

Pulley Car

Hotel Annex

Beetle Collection