#1 humor site on the 'net

Unhappy Baby

Starting life with a pessimistic attitude

Unhappy Baby thanks to Stan Kay

History of the middle finger

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Hope is the last thing to abandon the unhappy. - Unknown

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers. - Phyllis Diller

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

We can smile even though we are hurting and we can feel happy even though we are unhappy. It's called strength. - Thea Destiny

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie


Matching Receipt

Graffiti Removing Graffiti

How To Make Holy Water

Anti-Theft Car Device

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can You See It?

Bird Chocolate

Keyboard Seating

Griller Bees

Dock Giraffe

My Mom's The Best

Morse Code Portrait Illusion

Guarded Nights

Redneck Hummer

THIRTEEN

Sea Girl

Lord Of The Fries

Wannabe Mini

Fish Bowl Cleaner

Marital Rating Chart - Husband

Advantage of an Extra Long Straw

Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown