QuotaBillsChop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
Colors must fit together as pieces in a puzzle or cogs in a wheel. - Hans Hofmann
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
A committee can't succeed if everybody's on board but nobody's at the wheel. - Kathy Griffith
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright