#1 humor site on the 'net

Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble

Frustration with learning German

Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble thanks to Howard Chapman

The longest German word?
Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften
translation: “Insurance companies providing legal protection”
(recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as
the longest German word in everyday use)

More seemingly-never-ending German words
Bezirksschornsteinfegermeister
“Head district chimney sweep”

Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän
“Danube steamship company captain”

Freundschaftsbezeigungen
“Demonstrations of friendship”

Fussbodenschleifmaschinenverleih
“Floor grinding machine rental”

Kaftfahrzeug-Haftpflichtversicherung
“Motor vehicle liability insurance”

Lebensabschnittpartner
“The person I am with today (partner or lover)”

Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften
“Insurance companies providing legal protection”

Siebentausendzweihundertvierundfünfzig
The integer 7,254

Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen
“Independence declarations”


“Some German words are so long that they have perspective.”
Mark Twain
QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Some German words are so long that they have perspective. - Mark Twain

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

45 caliber German Shmowzer - a 38 caliber German Floogle with a telephonic site - Archie Bunker

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high stakes Scrabble. - Dennis Miller

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Whatever music sounds like, I am glad to say that it does not sound in the smallest degree like German. - Oscar Wilde

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Toward the north, from there shone Frederick, the North Star, around whom Germany, Europe, even the world seemed to turn. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball