#1 humor site on the 'net

Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble

Frustration with learning German

Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble thanks to Howard Chapman

The longest German word?
Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften
translation: “Insurance companies providing legal protection”
(recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as
the longest German word in everyday use)

More seemingly-never-ending German words
Bezirksschornsteinfegermeister
“Head district chimney sweep”

Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän
“Danube steamship company captain”

Freundschaftsbezeigungen
“Demonstrations of friendship”

Fussbodenschleifmaschinenverleih
“Floor grinding machine rental”

Kaftfahrzeug-Haftpflichtversicherung
“Motor vehicle liability insurance”

Lebensabschnittpartner
“The person I am with today (partner or lover)”

Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften
“Insurance companies providing legal protection”

Siebentausendzweihundertvierundfünfzig
The integer 7,254

Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen
“Independence declarations”


“Some German words are so long that they have perspective.”
Mark Twain
QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

45 caliber German Shmowzer - a 38 caliber German Floogle with a telephonic site - Archie Bunker

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high stakes Scrabble. - Dennis Miller

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Turtle Leash

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules