#1 humor site on the 'net

Zidane Is Fast

Strategy change from headbutting to making head-lines

Zidane Is Fast thanks to Mel Hardman

Zinedine Zidane (nicknamed 'Zizou') is a French retired footballer who played as an attacking midfielder for the French national team, Juventus and Real Madrid

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius - or French. - Madeleine Albright

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

As the French used to say, "the peace of resistance." - Archie Bunker

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard


Shark Circles

Topographic Sink

Rock Watcher

We Call It Lake

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Sitting Just Off Center

Dentist Bowling

Maybe Shame Will Stop Her

Penalty Shot

Puppy Taco

On The Edge

Laptop Cooler

Bruce Lee Coffee

Stealth Cat

Fish Hawg

Bee Beard

Titanic Trailer

Porsche Bird Droppings

Foosball Maze

Brain Logic

Kickback - England

Preschool Parking

Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!

Big Ambitions