#1 humor site on the 'net

Buns For Guns

Two for One Hunting Specials

Buns For Guns thanks to Keith Blake

Welcome to Michigan

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. - Thomas Edison

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. - Nelson Mandela

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You could say that the paparazzi and the tabloids are sort of the assault weapons of the First Amendment. - Charlton Heston

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

No weapon has ever settled a moral problem. It can impose a solution but it cannot guarantee it to be a just one. - Ernest Hemingway

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck


Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers

Loo View

Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan