#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian License Plate

Always polite, always sorry, eh!

Canadian License Plate thanks to John Haywood-Farmer

QuotaBills
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Sorry, I'm still a dialectical materialist. - Fidel Castro

A Canadian is somebody who can make love in a canoe. - Margaret Lally

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. - Robin Williams

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Easter Egg Drop-outs

Spring Sock Clearance

Kiss-ter Eggs

Easter Tree

Easter Identity Theft

Easter Preparation Down Under

Manitoba Spring

Easter Canceled

Easter Car

Resurrection Sermon

Purrrfect Disguise

Easter Style Stars

Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety