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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

Canada's the best country in the world. - Justin Bieber

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

In Canada, nobody is ever overthrown because nobody gives a damn. - Mordecai Richler

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? - Norton Juster

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. - Unknown

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles


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