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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
I was bitten by an octopus. - Ted Cruz

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Physics is, hopefully, simple. Physicists are not. - Edward Teller

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Quantum physics thus reveals a basic oneness of the universe. - Erwin Schrodinger

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? - Norton Juster

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I study myself more than any other subject. That is my metaphysics, that is my physics, - Michel de Montaigne

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh


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