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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

I need physics more than friends. - J Robert Oppenheimer

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Some people like to eat octopus. Liberals, mostly. - Russell Baker

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. - Jack Layton

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

In science there is only physics; all the rest is stamp collecting. - Lord Kelvin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. - David Russell

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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