#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Sidecar

Harvesting a Christmas tree in the good old days

Christmas Sidecar thanks to Vera Densen

QuotaBills
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller


Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs