#1 humor site on the 'net

Christopher Walken

He's been Walken around the block

Christopher Walken thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Christopher Walken thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Ronald Walken, known professionally as Christopher Walken
(born March 31, 1943), is an American actor
QuotaBills
The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

How can a President not be an actor? - Ronald Reagan

An actor draws on his own experience. - Christopher Walken

I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor. - Roger Moore

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade. - Rudyard Kipling

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get. - Jack Nicholson

I was always a character actor: I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood. - Paul Newman

"The Sex Lives of A-Borgnines" - is that the actor with all the wives? - Archie Bunker

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known involved one actor, unassisted. - Wilson Mizner

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor. - Jack Nicholson

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Actress Mary Anderson: "What is my best side, Mr. Hitchcock?"
Hitchcock: "You're sitting on it, my dear." - Alfred Hitchcock

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright


Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor