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Cow Return

Toking good care of the marijuana harvest

Cow Return thanks to Dave Loewen

Q: Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
A: It was the pot calling the cattle black.

QuotaBills
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. - George Burns

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

She's not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I'm all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal? - Jarod Kintz

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane. - Robert Orben

The U.S. should legalize marijuana, tax it, and send all the proceeds to NASA. NASA would inspire kids to explore the universe and pot would inspire adults to explore the universe. - Carl Sagan

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits - and millions of Americans agree with me. - Hunter S. Thompson


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