#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Trampoline

Phyllis ruined it for everyone

Cow Trampoline thanks to Chet Miller

QuotaBills
Party honesty is party expediency. - Grover Cleveland

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. - Groucho Marx

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Just keep hanging your steamers over there. You're the one who got me into this whole expensive party here. - Archie Bunker

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel


Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking