#1 humor site on the 'net

Customers Wanted

How to attract consumers with do-it-yourself marketing

Customers Wanted thanks to Lou Rawls

Help Wanted signs where no experience necessary

Life is a near-death experience. - George Carlin

An actor draws on his own experience. - Christopher Walken

Beyond meditation there is the experience of now. - Ryan Parenti

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. - Oscar Wilde

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Being frightened is an experience you can't buy. - Anthony Price

Acquiring knowledge is passive; experience is active. - Unknown

People will buy anything that's one to a customer. - Unknown

It is best to learn wisdom by the experience of others. - Latin Proverb

Panic is not an effective long-term organizing strategy. - Starhawk

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. - Dan Stanford

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

Experience is always a good teacher, but she often has dull pupils. - Unknown

Trekking means a travelling experience with a thrilling excitement. - Amit Kalantri

In good times, people want to advertise; in bad times, they have to. - Bruce Barton

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

A man has no ears for that to which experience has given him no access. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Prison is the worst experience I've ever had in my life - besides death. - Duane Chapman

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment. - Unknown

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. - Dag Hammarskjold

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. - Elbert Hubbard

Sometimes when learning comes before experience it doesn't make sense right away. - Richard David Bach

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. - Aldous Huxley

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. - Henry Miller

Every crucial experience can be regarded as a setback - or the start of a new kind of development. - Mary R Rinehart

It's very easy for trusted companies to mislead naive customers, and life insurance companies are trusted. - Daniel Kahneman

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. - Hal Borland

I used to advertise my loyalty and I don't believe there is a single person I loved that I didn't eventually betray. - Albert Camus

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude. - Denis Waitley

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Advertising moves the goods - if it's good advertising. Bad advertising doesn't move the goods because it doesn't move the buyers. - Unknown

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort


World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home


Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge


As The World Turns