#1 humor site on the 'net

Gluten-Free Diet

Alternative dining for celiacs

Gluten-Free Diet thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Gluten (from Latin gluten, 'glue') is a protein composite found in wheat and grains, including barley and rye. In celiacs, consumption of gluten causes adverse health issues ranging from abdominal bloating, gas, diarrhea and vomiting to migraine headaches and joint pain.
QuotaBills
You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon


Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine