#1 humor site on the 'net

Head Nest

Staying on top of a bird attraction

Head Nest thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

The comforter's head never aches. - Italian proverb

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Life is pharmaceutical from head to cuticle. - David McCord

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

What we call evil is simply ignorance bumping its head in the dark. - Henry Ford

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. - Helen Keller

Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. - Michael Burke

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Hold your head high, stick your chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes but morning comes ... keep hope alive. - Jesse Jackson

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Chain Mail

Lunch Break

Wash Day On The Farm

High Tide Heels

Frozen Fish Meal

Stork Exhaust

I 'Saw' An Accident

Protractor Cook

Street Genius

Rebar Walker

No Worries

Road To Success

Politician Training

Math in Africa

Customers Wanted

Sock Storage

Hung Out To Dry

Need More Horsepower?

Japanese Diving Platform

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat

Car Surgeon