#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Bagel

Latest in Israel cuisine - Kosher bagels

Holy Bagel thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing

Welcome To Texas

Which Way To Go?

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

Underground Parking

TV Conference

Chair Master

Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride