#1 humor site on the 'net

Into Fitness - Part I

Putting only exercise calories into your diet

Into Fitness - Part I thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Fit'ness burger into place

QuotaBills
Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers


Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing