#1 humor site on the 'net

Lerts

What the world needs more of

Lerts thanks to Anna Travika

QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin


Quit Your Wining

Beef Teeth

Poor Fortune Cookie Message

Dance With Me

Redneck Fish Finder

Pepper Face

Better Than Concrete

Guaranteed Women Attraction

Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing