#1 humor site on the 'net

Meltdown Dog

Dog in Heat

Meltdown Dog thanks to Brad Tanguay

Experiencing the dog days of summer in the Southern Hemisphere

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Volcanoes erupting hot guava - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

I'm half prostate in the heat - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Are my hot flashes causing Global Warming? - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Where beams of imagination play,
The memory's soft figures melt away. - Alexander Pope

Hot lead can be almost as effective coming from a linotype as from a firearm. - John O'Hara

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School