#1 humor site on the 'net

Mobile Swamp Home

Jethro's other house is a fishing boat

Mobile Swamp Home thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. - Babe Ruth

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - Edward R. Murrow

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home? - Archie Bunker

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower

Self Confidence

Wrong On So Many Levels

Reflection

Which Way Cupcakes