#1 humor site on the 'net

Moonshiners

When Prohibition footwear was 'still' in vogue

Moonshiners thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Unique leather shoes made from cowhide

Unique leather shoes made from cowhide. Moonshiners wore makeshift cow hoof print shoes to cover their tracks from prohibition agents, in an effort to keep the location of their ad-hoc distilleries secret.

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The littlest feet make the biggest footprints in our hearts. - Unknown

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


Turtle Leash

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules