#1 humor site on the 'net

New Years Cat

Not another New Years' Resolution!

New Years Cat thanks to Jim Serritella

Under the weather or under the mistletoe?

QuotaBills
All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. - Oprah Winfrey

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. - William Thomas

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. - John Selden

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. - John Burroughs

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


Forever Round

All Mine

Bottle Support

Falls Trail Tree

Going Green

Ukrainian Model T

Fencing Down Under

Croc Diet

Pulley Car

Hotel Annex

Beetle Collection

Egg Timer

Shell Sink

Wicked Wok Catch

Tight Tractor

Been Lapped

Family Jewels

WalMart Math

RoostHair

Big Deluge Ahead

Pickup Park

A Woman's Hands

Bombay Tech Support

Hillbilly Tooth Fairy