#1 humor site on the 'net

Ordnance Table

How James Bond conceals his firearms cache

Ordnance Table thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Ordnance - military supplies including weapons, ammunition, combat vehicles, and maintenance tools and equipment

QuotaBills
An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. - Thomas Edison

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. - Margaret Thatcher

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

You could say that the paparazzi and the tabloids are sort of the assault weapons of the First Amendment. - Charlton Heston

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

No weapon has ever settled a moral problem. It can impose a solution but it cannot guarantee it to be a just one. - Ernest Hemingway

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius


Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain