#1 humor site on the 'net

Organic Pears

Shopping for grass fed produce

Organic Pears thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

In her last days, Gertrude Stein resembled a spoiled pear. - Gore Vidal

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' - Talmud

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller


Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti