#1 humor site on the 'net

Palestinian Security Check

Better pat this guy down - he might be trying to sneak something in

Palestinian Security Check thanks to Dave Tobin

Israel issues another West Bank and Gaza travel warning

Is this 'Gaza Strip'?

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Smoking Hot Body

Take Away Van

Emotion Stew

Appenzell, Switzerland

Holy Day Inn

Rising To The Occasion

High Wire Act

Sunday Drive in the Country

Cloud Swing

Playground Child Eliminator

The Joe-kster Working Out

Flipper Soccer

Superior Church

Redneck Auto Mechanic

Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf