#1 humor site on the 'net

Petco Supplies

At least they have fish. Or do they?

Petco Supplies thanks to Keith Blake

When you know it's time to change out your neon sign ballast

QuotaBills
Lies tarnish the soul. - Unknown

Most of our future lies ahead. - Denny Crum

True genius lies in simplicity. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true. - Yogi Berra

The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize. - Richard Monckton Milnes

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. - George Eliot

A lie which is half truth is ever the blackest of lies. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. - Aristotle

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

There are three kinds of falsehoods, lies, damned lies and statistics. - Arthur James Balfour

Here lies a man named Zeke,
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek. - Unknown

The wisdom of nations lies in their proverbs, which are brief and pithy. - William Penn

Truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent. - William Blake

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies. - John Hodgman

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination. - Tommy Lasorda

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Henry David Thoreau

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. - William Morris

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Its success lies in the fact that it's an insurance plan, not an investment plan or a welfare plan. - James Roosevelt

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world... as in being able to remake ourselves. - Mahatma Gandhi

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind - the answer is twelve. I think I'm in the wrong building. - Charles Schulz

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. - Michelangelo Buonarroti

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Emotion Stew

Appenzell, Switzerland

Holy Day Inn

Rising To The Occasion

High Wire Act

Sunday Drive in the Country

Cloud Swing

Playground Child Eliminator

The Joe-kster Working Out

Flipper Soccer

Superior Church

Redneck Auto Mechanic

Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close