#1 humor site on the 'net

Punctuation Is Importanter

English grammar lesson for British protesters

Punctuation Is Importanter thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Sign of opposite appeal: No, I want more!

QuotaBills
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin


Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito

Cow Photobomb

Commas Save Lives

Never Give Up

Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?

The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake

Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard

Mummy Dogs

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone