#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Chinese Food

Eating tips for half-Asian, half-white diners

Redneck Chinese Food thanks to Myrna Correli

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well

Men's Wedding Photos

Wrench Dinosaur

Suddenly An Oven

Redneck Shower Head

Twin Dish

I Finally Know Why

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Barred

Surprise Party At The Zoo

Dog Cross