#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Tree Fort

Bubba has two out-houses

Redneck Tree Fort thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to build a treehouse in Alabama

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Argentina Weather Stone

Wurst Humour

Car Pool Lane

Do Not Read Law

Faith Forever

Diet Silverware

Octopus Pasta

No Separation

Zombie Mug

What A Radical

Bacon My Heart

Aussie Drinkers

How a Tangerine Is Made

For Lazy Shoppers

Wildlife Photographer

Wi-Fi Neighbour

Walker Safety

Greatest Daughter

Sourtoe Cocktail

Ogre Tree

Dog Pot Nap

Shame On All You Hunters

Names of the Colours

Waterfront Dining