#1 humor site on the 'net

Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Somewhere there is something incredible waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

As it turns out, now is the moment you've been waiting for. - Lucinda Williams

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid! - Unknown

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I would not sit waiting for some value tomorrow, nor for something to happen. One could wait a lifetime ... I would make something happen. - Louis L'Amour

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


Tired Flagpole

Coffee Steps

Royal Flush

Swallow Swallow

Bronx School Bus

Gay Dog

Lead Sled Dog

Copy Paste

Designer Shoes

1954 Prom Queen

Marshmallow Crop

'Do Not Read' Sign

Don't Ever Give Up

Amsterdam House Poles

Puzzle Makers

Baseball Slugger

Bear Print

Neck Exercises to do at the Computer

Geek Coffin

Sidewalk Jammies

Nature Calls

Son's Sun Protector

Something Wong

Camping For Seniors