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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

As it turns out, now is the moment you've been waiting for. - Lucinda Williams

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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