#1 humor site on the 'net

Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

The mistakes are all waiting to be made. - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Energy is liberated matter; matter is energy waiting to happen. - Bill Bryson

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Octostump

Poodle Power

Anyone Home?

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Men In Kilts