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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The mistakes are all waiting to be made. - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama


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