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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Energy is liberated matter; matter is energy waiting to happen. - Bill Bryson

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. - Fran Lebowitz

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

There are two kinds of people in one's life - people whom one keeps waiting, and the people for whom one waits. - Unknown

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


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