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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

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I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays


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