#1 humor site on the 'net

Spit Priorities

Choose your spit spots carefully in Yunnan Province, China

Spit Priorities thanks to Roy Turkington

Etiquette - a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behaviour according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group... some exceptions in China. Does this sign apply to baseball players in North America?

QuotaBills
Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

Polite conversation is rarely either. - Fran Lebowitz

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Character is what you think in the dark. - Dwight L. Moody

Happiness is not the end of life; character is. - Henry Ward Beecher

Do what you know and perception is converted into character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no greater index of character so sure as the voice. - Benjamin Disraeli

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Nothing of character is really permanent but virtue and personal worth. - Daniel Webster

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

While your circumstances are beyond your control, your character is not. - John C Maxwell

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - Zig Ziglar

Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option. - Unknown

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. - Ronald Reagan

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. - Elbert Hubbard

We all lose our looks eventually, better develop your character and interest in life. - Jacqueline Bisset

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. - Stephen Covey

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. - Thomas B Macaulay

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character. - Albert Einstein

What we value shapes our character and will ultimately define how we lead, or whether we can lead at all. - Unknown

When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature. - Ernest Hemingway

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no others are, and to do what no other can do. - William Henry Channing

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown


Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse

Traffic Jam Intersection

Re-Cycled Beef