#1 humor site on the 'net

Squirmy Jelly Worms

Preparing the main dinner course for kids

Squirmy Jelly Worms thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts. - Beverly Sills

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers