#1 humor site on the 'net

SwimChair Man

Swimming pool safety for daredevil Redneck high-divers

SwimChair Man thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Rectum? Darned near killed him!

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Ford Door Lock

Found The Jackpot

2fer Sudoku Puzzles C

DiscourageMeant

Bear's Submarine Patrol

Cat Got Your Tail?

Slingshot Shoes

Redneck Seafood Dinner

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

Balanced Meal

Canadian Car Crash

Florida Car Alarm

Dog Lookout

India Road Assistance

ZipHer

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles C

Lucky Calf

Moose Camouflage

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Douglas Fir Log Home

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Clever Weather Billboard

Street Cheerleader

I'm So Old