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The Circular File

Where to place late assignments

The Circular File thanks to Louise Tillman

Professor lays the law down to tardy students

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I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live. - Conte Vittorio Afieri

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Test yourself with the impossible, and you will know your capability. - Unknown

Success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary. - Unknown

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now. - Groucho Marx

We look harder for flaws in a study when we don't agree with its conclusions. - Sharon Begley

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen

The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts. - Bertrand Russell

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

If we are made of atoms, then a scientist studying atoms is actually a group of atoms studying themselves. - Unknown

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all. - Vera Nazarian

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

That is the exploration that awaits you! Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence. - Leonard Nimoy

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

There is not better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. - Jean Giraudoux

I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays and have things arranged for them that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas. - Agatha Christie

Bullfighting is the only art in which the artist is in danger of death and in which the degree of brilliance in the performance is left to the fighter's honor. - Ernest Hemingway

To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it. - Bertrand Russell

The best narrative is one of infinite love. A spiritual affair - one not of the material world. Intermingled, with no beginning nor end - it will always stand the test of time. - Terry A. O'Neal

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

Whether it's a popcorn movie or some really intellectual sociopolitical movie, I think to some degree they're all influenced by the social climate that we're living in. - James Wan

There is nothing, Sir, too little for so little a creature as man. It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having a little misery and as much happiness as possible. - Samuel Johnson

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. - Jay Leno


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