#1 humor site on the 'net

The Dark Side of Christmas

AT-AT Walkers on the prowl

The Dark Side of Christmas thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Standing over 20 meters tall with blast-impervious armor plating, the All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT Walker) is a four-legged transport and combat vehicle used by the Imperial ground forces who specialize in surprise Christmas attacks

QuotaBills
Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

Good Anakin. Good. Kill him. Kill him now. - Chancellor Palpatine

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I only have two passions: space exploration and hip hop. - Buzz Aldrin

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

He had them as spellbound as a room full of Ewoks listening to C-3PO. - Cory Doctorow

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman


Lawntastic Scenery

Hallway Detour

For Your Synths

Ladder Load

Beach Drag

Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

Is There a Hell For Animals?

Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity