#1 humor site on the 'net

Trampolining Competition

How British pubs attract elderly patrons

Trampolining Competition thanks to Roy Turkington

Judges needed for the women’s trampolining competition

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Excuses interest no one except the competition. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If you want to be the person you ought to be, you've got to welcome competition. - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

It is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. Since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. - Larry Page

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume