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Vintage Birth Control

How to avert the baby stork delivery

Vintage Birth Control thanks to Lena LaFleur

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


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