#1 humor site on the 'net

Walking The Dog

Days when Jethro is easier to handle than the poodle

Walking The Dog thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Dog walking tips

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time. - John Wanamaker

wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. - John Muir

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Want to walk fast, walk alone.
Want to walk far, walk together. - African Proverb

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

The bodies in my floor all trusted someone. Now I walk on them to tea. - Victoria Schwab

Walk boldly and wisely... there is a hand above that will help thee on. - Philip James Bailey

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It is better to have ten skeletons in your closet, than walk with no bones. - Anthony Liccione

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

It's better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. - Diane Grant

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields

There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk. - Guy Gavriel Kay

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I am just trying to hold my gut in. - Robert Mitchum

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Every time you walk down the street people are screaming, "You're fired!" - Donald Trump

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

If I lose, I'll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do. - Joe Frazier

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand

The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away. - Alysia Harris

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. - Terry Pratchett


Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight