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What Women Hear

Is what you meant or what you said wrong?

What Women Hear thanks to Howard Chapman

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Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Character is what you think in the dark. - Dwight L. Moody

Character is not what you are in the dark. - Unknown

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

Making mistakes reveals human nature. How one deals with them reveals character. - Unknown

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character. - Albert Einstein

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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