#1 humor site on the 'net

Who Needs Physics?

On the edge of a meltdown

Who Needs Physics? thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Theoretical physics is actually philosophy. - Max Born

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Physics is, hopefully, simple. Physicists are not. - Edward Teller

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Quantum physics thus reveals a basic oneness of the universe. - Erwin Schrodinger

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

In science there is only physics; all the rest is stamp collecting. - Lord Kelvin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

It would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. - Daniel Bernoulli

I study myself more than any other subject. That is my metaphysics, that is my physics, - Michel de Montaigne

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

Physics is about questioning, studying, probing nature. You probe, and, if you're lucky, you get strange clues. - Lene Hau

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

The fundamental concept in social science is Power, in the same sense in which Energy is the fundamental concept in physics. - Bertrand Russell

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

Physics investigates the essential nature of the world, and biology describes a local bump. Human psychology describes a bump on the bump. - Willard Quine

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, is physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself. - Bertrand Russell

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry. - H L Mencken

One thing they don't tell you about doing experimental physics is that sometimes you must work under adverse conditions... like a state of sheer terror. - W.K. Hartmann

If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people. - Jay Mathews

Physics is nothing but the ABC's. Nature is an equation with an unknown, a Hebrew word which is written only with consonants to which reason has to add the dots. - Johann G. Hamann

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. - Jay Leno

The standard model of particle physics describes forces and particles very well, but when you throw gravity into the equation, it all falls apart. You have to fudge the figures to make it work. - Lisa Randall

I should sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University. - William F Buckley


Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse

Traffic Jam Intersection

Re-Cycled Beef