#1 humor site on the 'net

Woman Argument

Ever argue with a female lawyer?

Woman Argument thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Alimony: the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. - H L Mencken

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein


Mechanic's Work Table

Alzheimer's Wing

I Don't Have Mushroom

Texas Peace Sign

Letting Your Hair Down

Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well

Men's Wedding Photos

Wrench Dinosaur

Suddenly An Oven

Redneck Shower Head

Twin Dish