#1 humor site on the 'net

Amplified Beer

Making music with a fridge full of brewskie

Amplified Beer thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Music is what our soul sounds like when it sings. - Xila Toro

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

I like your opera. I think I will set it to music. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. - Unknown

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Problems that are procrastinated on are only amplified. Be the buffalo. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. - Frank Zappa

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge